


Kisses in the Shadows

by CorkBug90



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Auror Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson Friendship, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, POV Pansy Parkinson, POV Ron Weasley, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Hogwarts, Ronsy - Freeform, Sassy Pansy Parkinson, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2019-10-06 11:13:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17344259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorkBug90/pseuds/CorkBug90
Summary: 12 years after the Battle of Hogwarts and the fall of the Dark Lord, Pansy Parkinson has a chance run in with one Ron Weasley in the unlikeliest of pubs. What happens next surprises both of them, more than they can put into words.





	1. Chapter 1

I glanced up as the door swung open and was assaulted with a shaggy mop of ginger hair. No way, this could not be happening. I had purposefully picked the seediest, most magical bar I could find so that I never had a chance of running into Potter or one of his goody goody gang. And yet who walks in but Weasley with his untidy mop and dirty freckles. He was the worst kind of pureblood and wizard, the kind that shunned his fellows for the company of lesser beings, muggles. 

It had been 12 years since the Battle of Hogwarts and the downfall of The Dark Lord. And though Potter and his gang had won, the tensions between the old Pureblood families and the muggles who claimed to be wizards was still alive and well. It had simply been pushed further underground than before. 

I ducked my head as Weasley walked passed my table along the wall to a table at the back of the room where a broad shouldered, dark haired man had claimed a seat. The man’s back was facing me so I couldn’t see his face but from the set of his shoulders and the sheer size of the man I could tell that Weasley wasn’t meeting Potter. What on Earth brought him here?

I had never cared much for Ron at school, he had always seemed the dumbest of Potter’s followers, but the idea that goody goody Ron Weasley was here meeting a nefarious character and probably up to no good had my interest piqued. Was he buying illegal contraband? Or could it be that he was selling secrets to some foreign ministry? I wanted desperately to know but my table was situated too far for me to overhear anything so I made due casting covert glances in the direction of their table in the hopes that I might catch a parcel being passed between them or something of the kind. 

They sat there talking and drinking for a couple of hours with no such business passing between them. I leaned back dejectedly as the broad shouldered man stood, buttoning his jacket and popping his collar so that most of his face was hidden behind it. He shook Weasley’s hand and made his way nimbly out of the crowded pub. Ron walked up to the bar and ordered himself another drink. I let my attention wander back to the correspondence spread across the table before me. I was halfway through a letter responding to my request for more of a certain product I sold in my shop that was popular but not entirely legal in Britain when a tall figure sat down opposite me.

“Parkinson. Do you make a habit of peeping on other people’s interactions in pubs? Or am I special?” Ron lounged in the chair opposite me, completely at his ease though the look I gave him was unmistakably hostile. 

“That seat is taken Weasley.”

“Yes, by me. So why were you so interested in my friend and I?” Ron took a swig of his pint. 

I sat there at a loss. He was so different from the awkward, gangly boy he had been at school. An air of confidence radiated off of him. He was so sure of himself and what he was doing. I glowered more darkly at him and turned my attention purposefully back toward my letter, ignoring him. 

“The only thing I can think is that you were spying on us for some reason, though why I just can’t figure. If you were spying you weren’t doing a very good job at all. You were really quite obvious.” He grinned widely and took another drink.

“I was not spying on you, you self obsessed twat!” I spat back at him, my irritation boiling over into rage. He only chuckled.

“So then what are you up to over here, might I ask?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I happen to be working. So, if you wouldn’t mind pissing off…”

“What could you possibly be working on at half ten in the grimiest wizard pub in London? Don’t you have a home?” He leaned forward.

“Don’t you?” I challenged. The lazy, confident smile faltered and he adjusted himself in his chair.

“Problems with your Mudblood Weasley? That’s what you get for dirtying yourself.” He lunged across the table before I could blink and wrapped his large, strong paw around my throat. 

“Don’t you ever say that about Hermione again. She’s ten times the witch you’ll ever be.” His grip tightened around my throat for a fraction of a second before he released me and sat slowly back down.

Icy fire coursed through my veins, a mixture of rage and something else. He took another long swig of his pint and leaned back in his chair again, feigning a cool and confident posture. We eyed each other warily as I massaged my throat. 

“If things are so wonderful with Granger then why are you here with me?” I watched him carefully for any sign that he was going to lunge again. He didn’t. His shoulders slumped slightly, ruining his attempt at casual. I guess some things never changed. 

“She thinks we’re better as friends. Which is probably true.” He said very matter-of-factly, but the blush that crept across his face and lit up his ears told a different story. 

A derisive sneer pulled at the corner of my mouth. Seemed Granger had better taste than I thought. Still, there was a small part of me that felt sorry for the tall, broad man sitting across from me. He loved her more than he would ever admit and it killed him a little to know that she didn’t feel the same for him. It was plain as day in the set of his shoulders and the over brightness of his eyes. She had hurt him deeply. 

“Well then she’s an idiot. You’re the best man she could hope to get.” He looked at me surprised, his brow furrowed in confusion. 

“What are you trying to say.” He leaned forward slightly in his seat, unsure whether this was another instance where choking was necessary. The thought of his big hand wrapped around my throat again made my stomach somersault with excitement. I shook myself.

“I only meant that you deserve better than her if she doesn’t see that you’re a catch.” 

He grinned again. “I’m a catch, am I?”

I blushed and scowled darkly at him, annoyed that he had had any kind of effect on me. 

“Yeah well, a catch for a Mudblood anyway.” He grabbed me again, one hand at my throat, the other at my waist. 

I stared him down hard, not letting him see that he was scaring me and making me just the tiniest bit excited. The noise in the bar had hushed slightly at Ron’s swift move, everyone waiting to see what would happen next. Ron’s grip loosened but his hand remained at my throat as his fury subsided and something else took hold of him. His lids closed slightly as he took a step closer to me. The hand at my waist peeked beneath my shirt, his fingers tracing slowly back and forth across my skin. My chest tightened and a fire ignited in the pit of my stomach.

“I told you not to talk about her like that anymore.” Ron stroked the pulse of my neck with his thumb.

“Yeah, what are you gunna do about it Weasley?” My voice was little more than whisper. I puffed out my chest and raised my chin trying desperately to hold onto my sanity and hatred of him. With every twirl of his fingers my resolve crumbled away. 

“Would you like me to show you?” He leaned in, his lips hovering just before mine. The warmth of his breath against my face made my thoughts hazy. When had he become sexy? I couldn’t focus as he teased me with his nearness. The smell of his aftershave engulfed me and any semblance of resistance I once had was gone. All I wanted was for his mouth to be on mine. 

He leaned in closer. His mouth hovered beside my ear and his body dusted across mine as he spoke again. “Come with me Parkinson.” 

A shiver ran through me as his breath played across the tiny hairs on my ear and neck. 

He took a measured step away from me, dropping his hand from my throat. His other hand remained at my waist trailing heat around the waist of my pants. I could feel the flush in my cheeks and the fire burning off my skin. Finally he dropped his hand from my waist and slowly began stacking my letters on the table. I bent to help him, stuffing stacks into my bag and grabbing my coat from the back of my chair. He stepped to the side motioning for me to walk before him. He guided me out of the humming pub with a gentle hand on the small of my back. What on Earth had come over me? How could I be leaving the pub, fully intending to go home with Ron Weasley? Something had gone horribly wrong, but I couldn’t put my finger on the exact moment where it had all been lost. 

The cold air in the street hit me like a wall as I stepped outside the grimy bar. I had thought for a moment with some hope that the cold air would snap me out of my daze but all it had done was make me all the more anxious to get inside and warm up with Ron. I tried to shake myself but then he was there, right beside me slipping a firm arm around my waist and his warm fingertips beneath my shirt hem. 

“Where is your flat from here?” 

“What’s wrong with your place Weasley?” I tried to sound defiant but ended up only sounding petulant and whiny. This would not do. I needed to snap out of it and I needed to do it right now. 

I tried to push him away but he turned me to face him and walked me back into the wall across from the pub. Shrouded in shadow all I could see were his hungry eyes boring into mine. A small gasp escaped me as my back made contact with the wall and he pressed his body against mine. I felt a warm sense of security there, pinned between him and the wall. My arms wrapped instinctively around his neck pulling him so that his face was millimeters from mine. I lifted myself ever so slightly onto my toes so that he didn’t have to bend quite so far down to meet me. 

He took my face in his large hands and kissed me deeply. Fireworks went off in my chest and a slow burn settled between my thighs. His lips were full and soft, and his tongue was slow and gentle as it explored my mouth. I caught my fingers deep in his tangle of hair directing him deeper into the kiss. We stood there locked in the shadows for a long time, exploring each other out in the cold. His hands roamed over me and I got a special thrill feeling him grow against me. Our movements became more frenzied as our hormones raged. I maneuvered myself and reached for my wand. 

With a ‘pop’ I apparated us into the bedroom of my small, one bedroom apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

Though our location had changed little else about our current situation had. We rebalanced ourselves so that he was no longer leaning his full weight against me, giving me the opportunity to let my hands explore his strong frame. My hands untangled themselves from his hair and trailed down his chest and round to his lower back. His muscles flexed as my fingers trailed over them. Over the years his body had firmed and rounded off some of his sharper angles. Instead of skin and bone there were now pecks and the hint of tight abs stretched across his torso. My fingers trailed slowly just beneath the waist of his jeans, teasing the soft skin just above his buttocks. His back straightened slightly before he relaxed into the kiss once more. I trailed deeper with one hand, grabbing a firm hold and grinding him into me. I was making my intentions clear and my time frame was imminent. 

A low growl emanated from deep in his throat and a wave of fire flowed through my veins settling between my legs. With one hand in my hair the other turned me away from him slightly. His grip in my hair held me firmly in place against him so that he could continue kissing me aggressively while his other hand began undoing  my belt buckle and fly. Once open he lifted his hand and trailed his fingers seductively along my stomach, doing circles around my navel and dipping repeatedly below the waist of my panties without following through further down. My body moved with his hand trying to guide him where I wanted him to go but he only tightened his grip on my hair reducing my range of motion. 

His free hand roamed up and under my shirt sneaking inside my bra and gripping the full flesh of my chest. A moan built deep in my chest. He was driving me crazy with his slow, measured movements and practiced control. I decided that it would be to my benefit to simply give up all control to him. He noticed immediately as the tension in my neck and shoulders relaxed. He trailed soft kisses along my jaw; around my ear; down my neck. The hand in my hair went to join the free roaming one at the hem of my shirt. Gripping my hips he pushed me away from him, forcing me to take a step back. I stood perfectly still as he lifted my shirt swiftly over my head. He unhooked my bra and soon after pulled off my jeans and panties. 

Standing back he let his eyes take in all my curves and soft edges. The vulnerability of that moment made me nervous. I had never let any of my partners before this take such a measured and leisurely view of me. He smiled contentedly and the pleasure in his eyes made my knees go weak. I took a tentative step towards him. When he didn’t move to stop me I closed the gap between us and followed his lead pulling his shirt decisively over his ginger head. His pants and boxers followed quickly after. I looked him over in a similar fashion to the way he had viewed me. My eyes wandered slowly over his well muscled chest and meaty arms. He was strong but it was clear that he spent little to no time in a gym. I followed the lines of his body down and then back up again, landing at last on his face. 

There was a look of nervous anticipation shining in his eyes that I was sure was a mirror for mine a few moments ago. I smiled gently and raised my hands to his chest. Automatically his hands went to my hips, gripping firmly. We leaned slowly, tentatively into each other resuming our previous kissing only this time less frenzied. 

We made our way over to my bed in awkward steps and graceless twirls. Finally Ron’s knees met the edge of my mattress with a jolt. The excitement of what was about to happen pushed me towards him and we went tumbling down onto the soft cushion behind him. We kissed and groped testing boundaries for ages before I leaned over to my bedside table and wrenched open the drawer pulling free a condom in a shiny wrapper.

“Do you need any help with that love?” I shook my head at him making quick work of the loud packaging. 

I bent down to kiss him again settling my knees either side of his slim hips. I fit him inside me slowly and we fell into a rhythm that built with our every move. By the time we finished together we were drenched in sweat and completely exhausted. I collapsed on top of him, unable to do anything but breathe. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his hands in the small of my back where his fingers drew never ending spirals and twists. A feeling of safety and utter contentment washed over me laying there in his strong arms. I had never felt this way before with a partner and it scared me. Even with Draco I had never felt such a sense of peace.

His hands gradually stilled and I began hearing soft snores from beneath me. As gently as I could I peeled myself from his arms and rolled to the edge of the bed. This couldn't be happening. Meaningless sex with a stranger, or worse a Weasley was at the very least acceptable. Everyone had their weak moment now and again. But developing feelings for him was out of the question. It had to be all the endorphins coursing through my system. Please let it be the endorphins.

I turned and watched him move in his sleep, his snores deepening to a stronger hum. He looked so sweet laying there with his arms spread wide and a small smile twitching his lips. I watched for a moment or two more before getting up and walking to the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror scrutinizing the girl who stared back at me. She was pale and her make-up was smudged beyond recovery. Her eyes were a deep brown that bordered on black, framed by a pair of well manicured eyebrows. These arched in a question as I searched the lines of my face for answers. I found none. 

I turned on the tap blasting the sink with hot water and cupped my hands under the torrent. Giving up on my reflection I bent and washed the night from my face. The heat of the water relaxed some of my fears and by the time I was finished I had suppressed the rest. I dried my face on the soft towel hanging from the back of the door and strode back into the bedroom and the sleeping figure sprawled across my mattress. I stood there watching him sleep for a few minutes smiling as he snorted and jerked in his sleep. He was so at ease, he had been from the moment he had sat down at my table in the pub at the beginning of this whirlwind of a night. I toyed with the idea of waking him and kicking him out but realized that I didn’t actually want him to leave. I liked the thought of waking up to his face in the morning, wrapped tightly in his arms, warm and safe. 

A shiver ran down my body. The room had grown cold as the night had progressed until it felt close to freezing. After one more moment’s hesitation I climbed lightly into bed. Crawling from the foot of the bed to nestle in against his warm body I laid my head down on one of his outstretched arms. He pulled me in tight to him, his body responding automatically to my weight. I smiled happily and pulled the duvet up over our exposed bodies. My head settled on his shoulder as I finally joined him in sleep. 


	3. Chapter 3

I awoke in the morning to the sounds of someone in my kitchen. 

“Ouch! Shit!” I sat up and looked around, getting my bearings. 

Last night seemed like a strange, far off dream starring two other people in the roles of Ron and I. I raised my hands over my head and stretched, twisting and pulling the sleep out of my muscles. I got out of bed and walked over to my dresser pulling out a loose fitting tank top and a pair of lacy green panties. Putting them on I left the room and headed down the hall towards my small kitchen. Waiting in the doorway I watched the tall figure standing in nothing but his crumpled jeans drop a midnight blue mug on the floor, shattering it.

“Shit! Ugh!” He turned in the direction of the bedroom and found me standing there laughing. A sheepish grin spread across his face.

“Did I wake you?”

“No. But what the hell are you doing?” I asked curiously.

“I wanted to make breakfast, but I can't find anything in this bleeding kitchen.” He glanced behind him.

“Yeah that’s because there really isn't much in it. I don't really entertain.” I raised my eyebrows at him pointedly. 

That was an understatement. The only people other than Draco, Theo, and Blaise that had been in my apartment never stayed for breakfast, not that I would have wanted them to anyway. 

“Oh, right. Well I started tea, anyway.” He fidgeted awkwardly as I stared at him. 

“Yes and broke my favorite mug.”

“Shit. I’ll fix it. Let me just go..” He trailed off as he squeezed past me out of the room. 

I watched him jog down the hallway and back into the bedroom. 

Bending down I began to pick up the sharp remnants of my mug. It really had been my favorite. It was the perfect size for either a large cup of tea or a small bowl of soup. I cradled the pieces in my hands as I carried them to the sink. Ron returned then brandishing his wand.

“Right.” He stepped up beside me and pointed into the sink. “Reparo.”

The shards jumped up in the sink and sealed themselves back together. I grabbed the now whole mug and put it on the counter just as the kettle started to whistle. Ron poured the water into my mug and the one he had set out for himself while I reached into the cupboard and pulled out a box of spiced herbal tea. 

“Thanks.” I popped a bag into each cup.

“You’re welcome. I’ll be more careful next time.” 

‘Next time.’ I raised an eyebrow at the words but kept my attention focused on the cups before me. The idea of a repeat of last nights events sent a shiver of excitement along my spine. Since Draco I hadn’t been with anyone on any kind of regular basis. It wasn’t something I was looking for at the moment, especially with Weasley of all people. If I needed attention I found it and then afterwards since it was always a no strings sort of arrangement I was free to go about my business. Somehow though this thing with Ron had felt different from the start. He made me feel safe, even when he clearly intended the opposite. Deep down I knew Ron would never do anything to hurt me, not if he could help it. I let these revelations tumble around in my mind while I swirled the bag in my tea. 

I finished doctoring my cup and stepped back to lean against the fridge door. My eyes followed Ron as he fixed his tea for himself. He was focused completely on the task in front of him which gave me the opportunity to take him in entirely. My attention was first drawn to his fiery waves, lying loosely around his ears and tickling the top of his neck. I slid my gaze to his face and the forever smile lighting his blue eyes. I settled there for a moment and watched as his tongue caught in the corner of his mouth in concentration. It was clearly a habit he had formed as a small boy that just stuck. It was such an innocent thing for a man of his size to do that something inside me warmed and I found myself wanting to be near him. Redirecting my thoughts I trailed my eyes down his neck to his well muscled shoulders and further along his arms to his strong hands and thin, adept fingers. The memory of those fingers flowing across my skin made me blush. I took a deep drink from my tea before continuing my examination. I took in the hair that spread handsomely across his chest, tapering to a shadow that disappeared beneath the waist of his jeans. 

He finished preparing his tea and reclined against the stove across the kitchen from me. All of his drunken bravado from the night before was gone and I was left with nothing but a grown man sized puppy with a goofy grin spread wide across his face. My eyes darted to the floor as he caught me staring. We sipped our tea silently for a while, shooting glances at one another when we thought we wouldn’t be seen. With every sip and every glance the tension between us mounted. All I could think about were his lips, and his tongue, and his hands. The way they had felt last night, the way they would feel this morning. Just when the tension became so great I thought I would burst I heard porcelain connect with counter. I looked up to see Ron push off from the stove and walked slowly towards me. He took the mug from my hands and set it gently down in the sink. 

“So that there are no more accidents.” 

I giggled. He looked down at me seriously and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me tight against his chest. My arms went automatically round his neck as he leaned his face down to mine. Our lips met in a slow gentle kiss, nothing like the frenzied actions of the night before. This kiss was sweet and tentative. Not the kind of thing that would lead to meaningless sex with a stranger but something that would lead to intimacy and emotional vulnerability. 

My heart beat hard and fast in my chest. The thought of him getting that close terrified me. I considered pushing him away, throwing him out of my apartment in nothing but his jeans but I held back. With a shock I realized that even though I was more scared than I had been before, all I wanted was to be close to him. 

I tightened my grip around his neck pulling him deeper into the kiss and he responded in kind. We fell into a similar pattern to last night only this time every move was slower, more deliberate. Exploring and enjoying each other this time round. Ron turned us and we took a couple of clumsy steps back toward the bedroom. Stopping in the hallway Ron bent down and scooped me into his arms. He carried me into the bedroom and lay me down gently on the bed. Removing his pants he climbed up beside me. Sitting up I lifted my shirt off over my head and threw it to the floor. My panties came off next, landing in a heap on my shirt. 

We lay there next to each other completely bare. Our hands making their way over each other’s skin leaving fire in their wake. We kissed and then separated again to explore new areas, over and over and over. Finally I got to my knees and bent over him. With my fingers I found his most vulnerable places, his collarbones, the crease of his elbow, the skin around his belly button, and I planted kisses there. When the sensation became too much for him he took my face in his hands and pulled me on top of him. I settled there, straddling his hips and we rode the wave of emotion together. Lying against his chest with his arms clasped tight around me we came, crashing down as one. He continued to hold me for a long while after as our breathing slowed and our heartbeats steadied. 

A well of emotion flowed over in my chest as the warmth of his embrace engulfed me. Silent tears streamed down my face. I focused all my attention on keeping my breathing even but it was no use, a dam had broken inside me and soon I was sobbing uncontrollably. Ron said nothing. He simply ran a hand from the base of my neck to the small of my back. This small, loving gesture made the tears come harder as I was filled with a euphoric peace. Finally the stream subsided and I was able to slow my breathing. Soon the only remaining signs of my outpouring of emotion were the infrequent hiccups and the wet, salt trails down my cheeks. Ron continued rubbing my back, even though I had clearly finished crying, and I never wanted him to stop. 

“Are you alright Pansy?” The sound of my name in his husky voice made me smile.

“Yeah. I’m alright.” I muttered. 

“Did I do something wrong?”

I shook my head. “No, you’re wonderful.”

I nestled myself in tighter against him and sighed deeply. He chuckled quietly and gave me a long squeeze. We lay there like that until we dozed off and fell into a deep sleep. 


	4. Chapter 4

A few hours later we woke to the sound of tapping on my window. A large tawny owl was perched on the sill outside holding a crimson envelope in its beak that I immediately recognized as a Howler. I untangled myself from Ron and opened the window. The owl hopped inside, deposited the Howler and took off back out the window not waiting for the inevitable explosion. I checked who the thing was addressed to and saw Ron’s name scrawled across the front in a messy script. I grabbed his blanketed foot and jerked him awake. He sat bolt upright in surprise, clutching the blanket to his chest.

“What?! What’s goin' on?!” He shouted.

“A Howler was just delivered for you. Doesn’t say who it’s from.” I looked disapprovingly down at the red envelope. He scrambled out of bed and came to stand next to me.

“Do you recognize the handwriting?” He bent down to get a better look but made no move to pick the thing up.

“George.” He groaned.

“George? You mean your brother? What the hell is he doing sending you a Howler? And to my house no less!” I looked at him expectantly.

Just then the Howler began giving off a thick smoke. It split open at the seam to form a mouth and floated up into the air. A man’s voice pitched high in imitation of a stern matron screamed through my small room.

“RONALD WEASLEY! WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU WERE MEANT TO BE HERE AT 8 AM SHARP THIS MORNING, BUT WHERE DO I FIND YOU?! MISSING! I CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT YOU ARE DEAD IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE BECAUSE I CAN SEE NO OTHER REASON FOR YOUR NOT BEING HERE TO OPEN THE STORE! WHEN YOU FINALLY DECIDE YOU’RE READY TO BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME!” In a final burst of flames the Howler dropped to the ground in a smoldering pile of ash. 

Ron smiled sheepishly at the thunderstorm that played across my face. The silence left behind in the Howler’s wake was deafening and the uncomfortable look on Ron’s face was worse. I grabbed my wand off my dresser and cleaned up the smoking remains from the floor. When I looked back at Ron he was rubbing his neck anxiously and staring at the floor. The strange haze that the two of us had been in since last night had been blown apart by a screaming red envelope. We were left with nothing but confusion and regrets.

“I guess you better go then.” I said casually as my heart fell sadly. 

“Oh. Yeah I guess… I’ll just get my things.” He turned round and collected his scattered clothes. 

Pulling on his pants he wouldn’t look at me. I wanted so badly to walk over and wrap my arms around his bare chest letting my head rest on his strong back, keeping him from leaving me and our little haven. I held myself back. Whatever this had been it wouldn’t, couldn’t survive in the light of day. Our lives always had been and always would be in opposition and one drunken, passion filled night wouldn’t change that. I turned sadly so he wouldn’t see the sadness in my eyes and searched for my discarded panties. Pulling them and my shirt on one after another I gave myself a chance to pull it together. By the time I turned around Ron was standing at the end of my bed fully dressed missing only his shoes which he held in his hands. 

“So is this goodbye then? Or will we… are we going to…” He struggled to finish the thought. Deciding not to answer because I had no answer I turned and took a step towards the door.

“I’ll walk you out.” He looked at his shoes disappointedly. 

We walked down the hallway in silence our minds working overtime trying to come up with something, anything to say to turn these last moments into something other than what they were. They remained a let down. I opened the front door. He bent slowly to put his shoes on, dragging out his every move not wanting to leave yet. When he finally stood his face was pained. Unspoken words and desires flashed behind his eyes as we stood there in the open doorway. 

“I had a-a great time with you Pansy. Sorry again about the mug… and the Howler.” So much regret and frustration was wrapped up in that one word, Howler. I looked down at my bare feet overwhelmed by all the things I couldn’t say.

“Yeah. You should go Weasley.” I hated myself for saying those words, for not saying any of the things that were rattling around in my head. It was better this way I tried to convince myself, why drag things out if you know from the start it’ll never work? 

He took a step over the threshold. My eyes met his and the emotion in them nearly bowled me over. 

“I don’t regret what we did. I never will. I hope you don’t regret it either.” He turned and walked away down the hall. 

I closed my door slowly, leaning against it heavily as the latch clicked shut. There was no way that we could work, we were too different. The way we had been raised, our families, our friends. These were things that people couldn’t overcome, weren’t they?  

 

* * *

 

In a daze I walked away from her, following the worn red carpet, down staircase after staircase until I wound up outside on an empty grey street. As I looked around completely lost I remembered that Pansy had apparated us back to her place last night. I found a doorway a little ways from her building and hid inside before apparating myself to the flat above Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes where I had been living since agreeing to help George run the business. It was a small, one bedroom apartment with basic fixtures and no real character. Since moving in I hadn’t really spent much time there, it was only ever really a place to go when Hermione was busy, but since she had decided we weren’t right romantically I had been spending almost all my time behind these boring walls. I really needed to do some decorating. At least put up some posters or something. 

Looking around my gaze settled on the sink in the kitchen and I was right back with her. I could still smell her on my clothes and my skin. My head whirled with the memories and I had to shake myself. She clearly wanted nothing more to do with me, after all she practically kicked me out of her apartment. None of it made any sense, better to just think of something else. A loud bang shook the floor and windows giving me the perfect excuse to think of anything but how I was feeling. I walked into my bedroom and quickly changed into my usual work suit, a blue pinstripe that I had had tailored to fit me exactly. It always made me feel smart and sure of myself when I wore this suit and I was going to need all the help I could get to deal with George. 

Giving myself a final once over in the mirror I headed downstairs. The store was packed as usual so I made my way to the counter at the back where George usually liked to perch. He was there giving a group of teens a demonstration of one of his trickier items. I slipped behind the desk and sat down. It didn’t take long for him to notice me. I groaned inwardly as he quickly wrapped up the show and made his way over to me.

“So who is she?” He grinned broadly down at me.

“Who is who?”

“Oh Ronald, don’t play coy with me. You were with a girl last night, that’s the only explanation for you missing work.” He leaned into me. “So who is she?”

“I wasn’t with anyone, I just got too drunk is all.” I could feel the guilty blush creeping up my neck.

“You live upstairs Ron. You never would have been able to sleep through the racket down here and besides I looked for you and you were quite clearly not home. Did you and Hermione get back together?” His tone softened slightly.

“No.” I stood up and walked around the counter, pretending to fix a display of Skiving Snackboxes. 

“Alright, I’ll leave it alone for now. But eventually I will find out. I always do.” He winked at me knowingly before wandering off to find customers to entertain. 

I looked down at the box in my hand. Puking Pastilles, appropriate for how I felt at the moment. Why was it that girls had to be so damn confusing? They never said what they meant but always meant what they said, only in their heads what they said was enhanced with extra context and analysis which they had been thinking about for days. Hermione had always been smarter than me but I knew that going in, she was the smartest witch of our age after all, but she never acted like it. She had always eventually gotten me to understand what was going on and it had just worked. Being with her had been safe and comfortable. Being with Pansy on the other hand had been like being struck by lightning, exciting and powerful but at the end I was left dazed and confused unable to tell left from right. I put down the box and walked back behind the counter lost in thought. It was a long time before I realized someone was standing in front of me.

“Hullo. What can I…” Blinking I saw that it was Harry.

“Alright mate, you ok?” He chuckled as I straightened up.

“Yeah, long night.” 

He raised an eyebrow at me but didn’t say anything.

“Why don’t girls ever say what they mean? I mean, you spend an amazing night with a girl and share something together and in the morning she kicks you out! How the hell does that make any sense?!” My head dropped into my hands in defeat. 

“Girls have never made any sense. I just got really lucky and found one that tells me exactly what she wants. Sorry mate. Hermione’s not like that though, she doesn’t play games. I don’t think she even knows how to play games like that.”

“Mna talkin buh mione.” I groaned into my palms.

“What?!” 

“I’m not talking about Hermione!” I yelled too loudly as I lifted my head.

“Oh… Well then who?” 

“I can’t tell you.” I said sheepishly.

“What? Why not?” Harry looked incredulous.

“You wouldn’t like it.” 

“Fine, don’t tell me. I was just trying to help but if you’d rather just mope about your secret sweetheart then be my guest.” 

I opened and closed my mouth a few times but nothing came out. I had no smart reply. He was right, I was being an idiot.

“Pansy.” Her name came out as barely a whisper.

“What?”

“I was with Pansy last night.” I waited for the disgust and look of disapproval but it never came.

“Parkinson?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh… Well she dated Malfoy so she’s probably used to a different kind of relationship.” He shrugged. 

It was silly to think that Harry would judge me for anything, we’d been through too much for who I shagged to change his opinion of me. Even still a part of me was relieved that he seemed not to mind my choice. I relaxed on my stool.

“So you’re not upset?”

“Why would I be? I mean I’m not thrilled, I had hoped that you and Hermione might make it together but if Malfoy can change then I’m sure Parkinson can change too.” He smiled at me earnestly.

“Thanks mate. But I don’t think you really need to worry, I don’t think she even likes me.”

“What do you mean? What exactly happened between you two?” 

I proceeded to tell him everything. About seeing her at the pub and feeling the overwhelming need to kiss her after she insulted Hermione. About the alley and her flat. Waking up to her smiling in her sleep and failing to make her breakfast. Breaking her mug, fixing her mug. I told him every last detail and how none of it matched with the moment before. She had me at a complete loss and I didn’t know what to do about it.

“She cried?” He asked, shocked.

“Yeah. It was like something inside her broke and it was all too much. She doesn’t know this but I cried too a little bit. I dunno what it was but that moment… I’d never felt anything like it.” We sat there in silence for a minute going over things in our heads.

“But then the owl with George’s Howler showed up and it was like she flipped a switch and everything that had happened meant nothing to her. She couldn’t get me out of there fast enough. I don’t understand what happened. Does she hate me? Did she ever really want me at all or was it just the alcohol?”

“Was she drinking?”

“I don’t really remember. No, I don’t think so. She was going over a bunch of paperwork when I sat down.” Talking to her was all a little hazy since by that point I had already had a few drinks but some things were coming back to me.

“Well then you can rest assured that it wasn’t just the drink.” Harry smiled optimistically. 

“Yeah, well it still could have just been the dark. Everything is more inviting in the dark.” I was still unsure.

“It sounds like she probably likes you. I mean she doesn’t seem like the type to just cry after sex does she? There had to be a reason and I don’t think it was that you hurt her, you’d never do that to a girl.” 

“Yeah, maybe.”

“There’s only really one way to be sure and that’s to see her again. Talk to her.” 

I nodded, only half listening. I was back in her bedroom this morning with her in my arms. Harry was right, I had to see her again.

Having no idea where her apartment was since we hadn’t exchanged information I went back to the pub where we’d met. I went back every night for a month but she never turned up. It was infuriating. With each day the events of that night became more and more twisted in my mind. Had we really had a connection? I must have been more drunk than I thought. Surely she would have come back to this place at some point during the month unless she was trying to avoid me and the only reason a person tried that hard to avoid someone was because they really didn’t like them. Clearly it had all been a mistake, a trick played on us in the dark. That morning hadn’t been a trick of the dark, a small voice in the back of my head argued. 

I didn’t go back there after that. There was no point if she didn’t want to see me again. I wasn’t a complete idiot and I definitely wasn’t going to let her make a fool out of me.


	5. Chapter 5

I watched through the window as he downed his beer, took one final look around the room then disapparated. It had been one month since we had spent the night together. One month of me hiding and avoiding my favorite pub, hoping he wouldn’t just show up at my door. I couldn’t understand why he kept coming back to this dingy shithole. Our night together hadn’t been anything special. Sure we had been amazing together and the feeling of his big, strong arms wrapped around me still made my heart beat out of time, but we were never going to have anything more than that one night. He was a stubborn idiot and I was a cold-hearted bitch. It would never work. Still, every time I saw his sweet frowning face all I wanted to do was take him into my arms and hold him. 

Knowing he was gone for the night I finally went inside. Stopping at the bar first I got my usual drink then went and sat down at my usual table in the back corner where no one would bother me. I settled into the mindless repetition that was verifying and settling the accounts from my shop. I had been sitting quietly sipping and sifting for a long time before I noticed the figure sitting opposite me. I jumped out of my skin as I looked up and found a freckled, ginger man staring back at me. 

“WEASLEY! What the bloody hell are you doing?!” I clutched my chest as my heart tried to jump out of it.

He laughed heartily, tears streaming down his face as I struggled to steady my breathing. 

“I’ve been looking for you.” Wiping the tears away he settled back in his chair.

“I know you have.” I growled. 

“Oh. Well I had about given up, but I forgot my jacket and when I came back, here you were.” He smiled brightly at me.

Cursing his worn leather jacket I sighed heavily. Now that he was here maybe this was my chance.

“Listen, Ron that night we had was fun but it’s not going to turn into anything more. I don’t do relationships, I don’t even do repeat visitors. It’s a one time only deal with me so you should just leave it at that. Move on.” His face fell as I rushed through the words. 

“I’m so sick of girls telling me to ‘Move on’! Why should I move on? Something happened when we were together. I know you felt it! So don’t tell me to just move on because I won’t!” Slamming his fist down on the table he sat forward. The anguished expression that creased his face broke my heart. 

“She really hurt you didn’t she?” The words came out as a whisper. 

“I told you not to talk about her.” He growled, a tear rolling slowly down his cheek. 

We sat in silence, not looking at each other for a long while. I shuffled my papers nervously as he stared unseeing at a spot on the floor. Every few seconds I snuck a glance at him unsure what else I could say to him. Every atom of my being screamed to touch him, hold him, make the pain go away. Instead I sat awkwardly trying to distract myself.

“I should go.” He mumbled suddenly. Standing he lumbered over to the table he had been occupying before I arrived, snatched his jacket off the chair and pulled out his wand. 

With a soft “pop” he was gone. A sick ache filled my chest the moment he was gone. What had I done? All he had wanted was to get to know me, was that really such a horrible thing? Launching to my feet I started gathering my paperwork. Spinning around I slammed into a tall, broad frame. Papers went flying everywhere landing scattered around Ron’s feet. My heart leapt as I realized that he had come back. Letting the rest of the pages fall I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. After a moment of shocked immobility he returned my embrace. My body felt light as he held me tight to his chest. It felt just like that night so long ago. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Note: I know it's been an absolute AGE since I last added to this story and I'm so sorry about that. So, in an effort to make up for my lack of urgency I'm giving you the longest chapter to date. I really hope you enjoy, it is seriously smutty.**

 

*** * * * ***

 

Our kiss once again deepened quickly and soon we were scrambling to collect all of my paraphernalia so that we could apparate somewhere a little more private. We ended up at Ron’s apartment this time. Wasting no time I threw my things on the ground and jumped into his arms. He carried me quickly to the bedroom, throwing me down on the bed before pulling off his shirt. I flung my shirt up over my head and across the room, my pants following closely behind. Getting up on my knees I came to the edge of the bed and helped him undo his jeans. Pushing them down to his ankles I kissed my way up his chest and along his neck meeting with his soft lips at the end of my trail. Our hands moved in a frenzie across each other’s skin. 

His large arms folded around me. That feeling of safety and warmth washed over me again and I relaxed into his embrace. I let him cradle me, laying me back on the soft bed and climbing on top of me. The weight of his body on mine was like an anchor keeping me tethered to that moment. He trailed kisses over my cheeks and shoulders while his hand moved down between my legs. Rubbing me through the thin fabric of my panties he nibbled on my lips. I pressed against him and grabbed the quickly swelling shaft inside his shorts. Massaging him in my palm I kissed him fiercely. 

Fed up with the foreplay I rolled on top of him. Working with him to slide off his shorts I pulled my panties to the side and fitted his entirety deep inside me. I stretched to fit him inside me. He groaned in satisfaction as I settled on him. Moving slowly I began rocking back and forth, giving my body time to become accustomed to his size again. He grabbed my hips and rocked me faster digging his fingers into my flesh. Pressing my hands down on his chest I ground into him hard and fast. He flung his head back into the pillow and dug his fingers deeper into my hips bucking up into me as he raced to his climax. I let him finish before rolling off of him. 

He may have finished, but I most certainly had not. Determined to reach an ending of my own I pulled his face to mine again and kissed him deeply. He rolled towards me. Staying by my side he ran his fingers over my skin, revisiting crevices and patches that he had discovered the last time. He teased and touched me, driving me wild. I attempted to guide his hands and pull him on top of me but he was having none of it. Diving over me and grabbing his wand from the pile of clothes on the floor he flicked the tip towards my hands and feet. Silken ropes wove tightly around my wrists and ankles affixing themselves to invisible posts at the head and foot of the bed. 

“I didn’t think you would be so kinky Weasley.” Glancing at my wrists I tested the knots, squirming slightly. They held fast.

“I’ve become quite good at knots since becoming an Auror so there’s no use trying to get out of them. I’ll let you go when I’m done, or you’re done. Whichever comes first.” Smiling broadly he settled beside me again. 

“I don’t like being controlled Weasley.”

“No more talking or I’ll have to gag you and I’d much prefer to hear the sounds you’ll make.” 

“Shouldn’t we have a safeword?” My voice cracked as my fear and excitement gripped me.

“Alright. How about ‘Weasley is my king’?” His smile turned devilish.

“Absolutely NOT! I will not…” He silenced me with a sudden kiss. 

“I was only joking Pansy, Merlin’s beard! What about Gryffindor?” He offered more seriously.

“Fine, but only because there would be no other reason for me to yell out ‘Gryffindor’ than my needing everything to stop.” 

“Excellent! Now no more talking.” Kissing me again his hands traced my outline. 

Teasing my nipples through the thin lace of my bra he coaxed a low moan from my lips. Gripping the ropes tightly I struggled under his constant pinching and pulling turning my chest in the hopes of directing him elsewhere, but his focus was unshakeable. He continued to twist and flick one then the other and back again. Very soon a tingling spread through my body getting stronger with every moment. 

“Oh God.” I breathed, writhing in my restraints as he placed his mouth over one tensely erect bud. 

His tongue circled and flicked, his teeth nipped softly and I was sent over the edge. Vibrating as my orgasm buzzed through me I dug my nails into my hands. His mouth stayed on me until I was gasping and shaking. When he finally released my chest from his attentions I laid limp, but I didn’t have long before his hands were blazing a new trail. They dipped down over my belly teasing just below the hem of my panties. 

“I think it’s time we took off all these clothes.” With a quick flick of his wand my bra and panties flew across the room.

“Those better not be ruined Weasley, I really like…” I let the words trail away as he leveled his wand at my face.

“I said, no more talking Parkinson.” The deep rumble of his voice shivered up my spine. 

Snapping my mouth shut I waited. This commanding side of Ron was new and exciting. In all the years I had known him at school he had never shown much leadership ability, following Potter and Granger around like a dumb lost puppy. He was stubborn sure, always had been, but this was a whole new Ron and I liked it. 

Releasing my right leg with a swish and throwing it over his shoulder he nestled between my thighs. He kissed along my thighs, taking his time before settling his mouth over my most personal crevice. I pulled hard against my bindings as he went to work. My hips reared and bucked against his attentions forcing him to wrap his arm tightly around my free leg. With his other arm he reached up my torso and grabbed a fistful of my ample chest. The sensations piled on top of each other and soon I was overwhelmed. Screaming I came, my body shaking violently.

“Oh GOD! Ron!” The ropes dug into my wrists as I pulled harder against them.

Sliding up my body he kissed me slowly and pushed deep inside me again. My whole body was on fire as he began pumping in and out of me. I wanted desperately to touch him, to drag my nails down his back and cling to his broad shoulders but I couldn’t. Instead I contented myself with wrapping my free leg around his hips as he built up speed. We moved together as our heartbeats synchronised and our world went hazy. 

He collapsed on top of me as our bodies went limp, completely spent. After a few moments he raised himself slightly and released me. I moved my limbs gingerly allowing the stiff joints time to loosen and relax. Ron rolled to my side and pulled me in against his chest. He cradled me against his chest as my heart rate returned to normal and my vision cleared. No one had ever satisfied me so fully so many times so my body was doing it’s best to recover some normality. As if he could sense my need for comforting his fingers began running through my hair and down my back. I nestled nearer to him and planted a soft kiss on the skin of his chest. 

“Who taught you how to make a woman feel like that?” My voice was husky against the quiet of his flat. 

“You did. I remembered the things you liked last time and just went from there. Reading your body feels natural.” He leaned down and planted a kiss on the top of my head. 

“No one has ever made me feel this way before.” Propping myself on an elbow I met his gaze. 

“Ok, I’m going to say it, but only once so you better savour it.” I paused for dramatic effect. 

“Weasley, you’re my King.” His jaw dropped open and his eyes went wide. 

After a moment he burst out laughing, a hearty deep belly laugh that made his whole body shake. He squeezed me tight against him as he laughed and I couldn’t help but join in. We continued that way for some time before calming down. Grabbing my face he pulled me into an affectionate kiss. He pecked around my face, then back to my mouth and down my neck. I giggled as he moved and began my own barrage. Soon we were out of breath once more. I nestled back into the crook of his arm and floated in and out of dreams while we basked quietly in the glow of each other. 

The next morning I awoke to Ron’s fingers tracing patterns on my back as I lay face down in my downy pillows. I lay still and let him continue his absent doodling. Being there with him all warm and wanted was like a dream I wasn’t ready to wake from yet. He bent forward from his propped up position and kissed my shoulder before rolling over and standing up. Rolling over myself I looked up at him.

“Where are you going?” 

“Well look who’s finally awake.” He smiled broadly as he pulled his shorts into place.

Stretching widely I waited to respond. Moving so that the sheet fell off my form I lay there exposed. His eyes traveled the length of me before meeting mine. A low smoldering fire ignited behind his eyes as he stood there taking me in. I smiled innocently as I rolled onto my back and reclined casually. He made an exasperated sound before jumping on top of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he kissed me and caressed my face.

“I need to take a piss, desperately, but damned if I could leave you when you look the way you do.” Smiling wickedly I pulled him into another kiss.

I held him there, locked in my embrace until he began to whine. Unwrapping my legs and giving him a final playful peck I pushed him away. Sprinting he made it to the toilet before all hope was lost. Taking a moment while he was gone I got up and wandered around his room. When we had arrived last night it had been quite dark and I had been otherwise occupied so I hadn’t really noticed my surroundings. His was a sparse room with only the bare essentials for furniture. He had a simple bed which I was well acquainted with by now, one small side table and one large dark wooden dresser. The side table was bare save a lamp so I rolled off the other side of the bed to take a peek at his dresser. 

On top stood three framed pictures surrounded by a scattering of knick knacks and paraphernalia. Two of them stood beside each other on the left side while the other resided in the back right corner. The first on the left was of a pack of terribly ginger people in a desert somewhere. I recognized a few of his many siblings and realized it must have been his family. The one beside that was of Ron, Harry and Hermione laughing heartily at something off camera. It looked to be from around our fourth year. They doubled over as the picture captured the moment in all its comedic glory. Then finally, in the far right corner was a picture of Ron with his arm wrapped tightly around a timidly smiling Hermione. Ron’s face was shining with pride as he held her close to his puffed out chest. My heart pinched as I looked at his beaming face holding perfect Hermione Granger. Lost in my reverie I hadn’t noticed him reenter the room and walk up behind me. I jumped as he slowly wrapped his arms around me. Leaning back against him I relaxed slightly. It wasn’t Granger he was here with it was me and it wasn’t by drunken accident. 

“I forgot that was there. Sorry.” His voice rumbled against my spine.

“What do I care?” Ice dripped from my words.

“She’s my ex girlfriend, of course you care.” 

“You can do what you want Weasley, keep her picture up or take it down it makes no difference to me.” He let me go and walked over to the bed, dropping down on the edge defeatedly. 

“Don’t start that shit again Pansy, please. I know that it bothers you that I still have that picture up, I saw your face while you were looking at it. I hadn’t taken it down yet because I forgot about it. I forgot about it because all I’ve been able to think about since that first night is you. Pansy you’re the only person in the world I’ve ever felt this way about. Not Hermione, not Lavender, you! So don’t shut me out again and don’t pretend you feel nothing for me.” My heart broke to see the pained expression pinch his face. 

Walking over I straddled him and held his face in my hands. 

“I’m sorry. I’m crap at this whole dating thing.” Leaning forward I planted a soft kiss on his full lips. 

“You don’t have to be good at it you just have to let me in. We can be bad at it together, ok?” Nodding I kissed him again.

“It does bother me. I mean she’s been your best friend since day one, it’s intimidating.” I frowned uncomfortably into my lap. 

He kissed my forehead and gently moved me off his lap. Stepping past me he walked up to the dresser and grabbed the photograph. Walking over to his closet he opened the door and reached up to the top shelf. Turning it face down he deposited the picture there. 

“There, all gone.” He smiled proudly at me with his hands on his hips. 

“Well at least out of sight.” His arms dropped to his sides defeatedly, “which is good enough for me!” I assured him quickly. 

The proud smile replaced itself on his face as he bounded toward me. I braced as he tackled me to the bed. Wrapping my tightly in his arms he lowered a deep kiss onto my lips. I clasped my legs around his waist and returned his kiss warmly. He would never win any awards for brilliance but his heart was enormous and his mind was wide open and that was more than I could say for any of the other men I had been with. I snuggled into his chest as we kissed. Unlike any of our previous encounters this kiss was slow and luxurious. Ron was taking his time, simply enjoying the feeling of being near me and I was doing the same with him. We spent a long time locked together this way never taking it further than the simple intoxication of my lips against his, until my stomach suddenly made its presence clearly known. 

“Merlin’s beard, do I have a ghoul in my attic?!” Staring down at my stomach with wide eyes he chuckled.

My cheeks burned crimson as my stomach introduced itself again loudly. 

“Alright, alright! I’ll make you breakfast! There’s no need to shout.” This he said directly to my stomach as though an actual ghoul had taken up residence there making me giggle.

Pushing himself up he came to a standing position at the edge of the bed and offered me his hand. Taking it gladly he pulled me up off the bed. Turning he headed out of the bedroom and into his kitchen. I scoured the floor for my shirt and panties, putting them on quickly before heading out after him. By the time I settled in a seat along his Kitchen counter he was already in full swing making breakfast. Pans flew into place on the stove while eggs and sausages jumped free of the refrigerator. Pointing his wand he lit the stove and put things in motion. Watching him in complete control of his domain was a refreshing change of pace. The last few times I had seen him he had been pining after me or Hermione in a slightly pathetic manner. There had been a couple of brief glimmers of the strong confident Ron that he had become in the years since school, but they had been few. Now I was seeing the Ron that he had become and I never wanted to go back. 

“Do you like your eggs a certain way?” He looked up at me from the cutting board he was working diligently on. 

“Scrambled usually, but honestly I’m not picky.” Nodding he flicked his wand behind him and the eggs hopped into action cracking themselves into a bowl beside the stove.

I watched as he danced around the kitchen and felt myself smile. 

“Where did you learn to cook?” 

“My mum. She’s a brilliant cook. I used to just watch her until she started putting me to work. She said, ‘If you’re going to be in here anyway you may as well be useful!’ So I was. I think she really appreciated the company even if she never said so. I mean with a family full of boys who were more interested in muggle artifacts and Quidditch than cooking and cleaning I think she was glad one of them had taken an interest in something she could relate too.” He smiled as he chopped.

“That’s nice. My mum didn’t cook, she didn’t clean either. We had House Elves for that. She and my father weren’t really home much anyway so even if she had I don’t think I would have ever seen it.” Ron looked up at me with a small frown pulling at his face. 

Shrugging, I deflected, “I preferred it that way. My parents weren’t what you’d call warm so it was nicer when they were gone.” 

“That must have been lonely.” He went back to his chopping but I could tell he was still watching me in his peripheral.

“Yeah, I s’pose so, but I have a cracker imagination so I kept myself occupied.” Thankfully the kettle began whistling then and pulled Ron’s attention away from my empty childhood. 

Pulling the Kettle off the stove he summoned a couple of cups from the cupboard and popped a couple of bags inside. Placing one steaming mug in front of me he went back to breakfast. Throwing everything into the pan sizzling on the stove he mixed everything together. He stood there focused on the ingredients with his back to me. Getting up as quietly as possible I walked around so stand behind him. Reaching around his solid chest I rested my head on his strong back. 

“Hello there! Y’alright?” I only squeezed him tighter as he rubbed my arms and stirred our eggs. 

This big dumb ginger had done something that no one else had ever managed. He had wormed his way into my heart and was now settling in, building a residence that he meant to make permanent and I wasn’t sure that I wanted him to stop. Putting down his spatula he turned around in my arms and wrapped his around me. Standing there pressed against his chest, listening to his steady heart beat was the most complete I had felt in my life. The other relationships, if you could even call them that, I had been in had been shallow and physical at their best so the fact that he cared for me and showed it was a completely new experience for me. It scared me to death. I knew I was going to mess things up, but for some reason with him that didn’t make me want to run away it only made me want to try harder to keep things good for as long as I could manage. His hands began running up and down my back in a soothing rhythm as he pressed a kiss into my hair. He was quickly becoming my safe place to shelter from the storms of life. 

“Ron?” Pulling back he looked at me. 

“I’m sorry for being such a bitch to you and avoiding you like I did.” He smiled tenderly as I said the words. 

“You’ve always been a bitch to me Pansy, it was just habit.” He chuckled, planting a quick kiss on my lips. 

I laughed with him but felt my stomach tighten. He was right, being a bitch was habit for me at this point in my life. For as long as I could remember it had been how I and everyone else I knew communicated. We had been quick to judge and quicker to lash out and it made me wonder why? Why did we all feel the need to tear everything kind and warm and good to shreds or keep it at bay? Were we trying to protect ourselves because from birth the world had been cold and our hearts had been viewed as weaknesses or was it just us imitating the examples that had been set before us? I continued to wonder at this as he turned around again to finish making our food. Kissing the top of his spine I released him and went to sit down again. 

Moments later he dished up our food and came to join me at the counter. He placed my plate in front of me then summoned the milk and sugar. We doctored our tea and dug in. It was delicious. My eyes rolled back in my head and my shoulders relaxed as I popped the first bite into my mouth. Making sounds akin to the ones from last night I rested my hands on the counter and savoured each mouthful. 

“So you’re enjoying it then?” My eyes flew open as he broke my concentration.

Laughing I nodded fervently and planted a kiss on his cheek. We sat quietly enjoying our breakfast until our plates were clean and our stomachs were full to bursting. As we sipped our tea I took the time to look around. His kitchen opened into his large, empty living room. There was one sad red couch in the middle of the room facing the window with a tall brass standing lamp next to it and that was the only furniture. At the base of the wall to his room my papers and bag lay strewn across the floor. Putting down my tea I walked over and collected my things, putting them back into my bag so that I wouldn’t have to worry about anything going missing later. When I turned around Ron was staring at me. 

“What?” 

“You have the most incredible ass Pans. It’s truly amazing.” Giggling I bent forward again and stared at him over my shoulder. 

Licking his lips he put down his tea and walked over to me. Stopping just a step short of right behind me he raised his hand. Bringing it down swiftly his hand clapped sharply against my round cheek. Rubbing the soft skin there his other hand took up residence on my other cheek. He squeezed and pulled, massaging my ass as I stood straight again. Stepping forward he pressed my hips against his groin and wrapped his arms around my waist. Squeezing me tight he growled into my ear. I swirled my hips in seductive circles against him. He kissed my neck as I reached back and buried my fingers in his hair. I continued teasing him until his kisses became nibbles and his hands began moving up my waist. Turning around to face him my lips found his. We kissed feverishly standing there in his living room. Gripping my ass tightly he lifted me up into his arms and walked me over to the wall slamming me back against it. He pressed his full body against me and ground his hips into my pelvis. Moaning into his mouth I ran my nails up his back, gripping his shoulders tightly as I began to move with him. 

Dropping my legs to the floor he spun me around and ripped off my panties. Gasping in outrage I began to protest his treatment of my clothing, but before I could get a full word out he shoved his firm rod deep inside me, pinning me to the wall. I moaned loudly and clutched at his hips, pulling him in tighter. Keeping himself lodged deep he began swirling his hips. My body clenched around him as he massaged my depths. Gripping my shoulders for purchase he began pumping in and out of me in long hard strokes. With each stroke my pleasure increased until I was dripping and shaking. He held me steady until he joined me over the edge. We stood there pressed against the wall for support for sometime before separating. Ron bent down and picked up my destroyed panties, holding them gingerly between us with a guilty look plastered across his face. Stumbling over to the kitchen counter, his legs still unsteady from his recent intense orgasm, he grabbed his wand. Casting Reparo on the frayed lace he got down on his knees and presented them to me. 

“I’m sorry I tore these, but you left me no choice.” Snatching them I slid them back on. 

He looked up nervously at my stormy face. I stared down at him doing my best to keep my face dark but it was a matter of moments before I cracked, giggling and tumbling into his arms. We flopped down on the floor laughing. Rolling onto his side to face me he brushed a few strands of hair behind my ear and smiled contentedly. My heart skipped a couple beats as he stared at me and ran his fingers through my hair. Suddenly I was overcome with a wave of self consciousness. He looked at me as though I were the most incredible woman on Earth but having lived in my head and seen the things I’d done and heard the things I’d said I wondered what the hell about me was so incredible? Avoiding his gaze I stood up. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Following me he stood up, reaching forward and raising my chin.

“What makes you think something is wrong? Maybe I’m just bored.” I cursed myself as I said the words. Something was wrong and I wanted him to know so he could make it better. 

“Pans, one second you’re smiling bigger than ever and then next second you look like you’re gonna cry. Talk to me.” He cupped my face in his hand sweetly causing tears to form in the corners of my eyes. 

“I just… I don’t know why the hell you wanna do anything more than fuck me. I’m not nice Ron, I never have been you said it yourself. So, why in the name of Merlin is a sweet, wonderful guy like you interested in me?” A few tears slipped passed the barrier of my lashes and trailed down my cheeks. Ron swiped them clear with his thumb and looked me deep in the eyes.

“Pansy, you’re not a monster. I’ve seen monsters, I’ve seen worse than monsters and you’re not even close. Yes, ok, you’re frosty but frost thaws and I’m happy to wait and watch it happen, because what comes after is beautiful and worth the wait.” Tears streamed down my face at his words as they cracked the icey shell around my heart. 

Throwing my arms around him I cried openly into his chest. He held me tightly as all my fears poured over his skin. These emotional outbursts were becoming a regular occurrence between us and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. But in that moment, all I could think was how glad I was that he was there holding me in his arms. All the things I usually would have drunk away at the pub or pushed down so deep that they had no choice but to push out of me in vile, bitter ways came pouring out, cleansing my system until all that was left was a quiet emptiness. When my sobs had subsided and I was breathing more steadily Ron leaned back and looked into my face again. 

“Let's go out, get some fresh air. It’s gotten pretty heavy in here and I think we both need to do something that’s way less pressure.” He smiled and brushed the last couple of tears from my cheeks. 

“That sounds nice. I just need a quick shower then we can go.” Nodding Ron led me over to his bathroom and started the water running. 

We got in together and gently cleaned each other, relishing the feeling of being near to each other without it going any further. In our few encounters we had been about as physical with each other as two people could be, but we hadn’t left any time to get comfortable just being near one another. This shower was a nice start to that. He used a cloth to gently rub away the dirt and tears and I did the same for him. We explored each other and cared for each other so tenderly my heart filled up my chest. When we were done we stepped out and Ron used a towel to dry me, taking his time and making sure to pay attention to every inch of me. By the time he finished with me he was nearly dry as well but I took my chance and dried him the way he had dried me. By the time we were clothed and heading out the door we were almost glowing, filled to the brim with love and affection, contented to be in each other’s presence without saying a word. 


End file.
